Or... Highlight Reel: Bali, Week One
I attempted to act like a seasoned traveler; unphased by the bombarding locals as we waited for our longtail boat and drank ice cold Bintangs (The Indo Beer) and ate silly-hot chili corn right off the cob. They used the stalk as a handle – brilliant.
We watched as Naz all but crapped herself as she realized that she would have to brave a walk through extremely rough surf to get onto the angulating public boat.
We enjoyed Nusa Lembongan’s laid back surf beach and I cried from the torment of not riding because of my stupid stinkin’ ankle.
The Americans taught the Persians how to play their own card game. Hokm will never be the same!
We said, “Hello Seminyak’. Hello to a three bedroom luxury villa. Hello to the fully equipped open-air kitchen with adjoining outdoor pool. We said, “Hello and where have you been all our lives?” Mike and Naz said, “Hello? Do we haaaave to leave?”
We went down to the Jimbaran fish market and purchased an ungodly amount of fresh seafood and vegetables, returned to our villa and got our cook on.
The Menu:
• Spicy Baby Squid in Lime Sauce
• Mango Chili Tiger Prawns
• Garlic Sautéed Jack Fruit
• Banana Leaf wrapped Coconut Cream Tuna
Naz got Iced. (If you don’t know what I’m talking about click here)
The setup: Upon returning from the market Mike and I went and got a gift bag and tissue paper from a boutique clothing store and then came back to our villa and explained how we got her a little something but that it was no big deal. Just open it, you’ll see... Naz got Iced.
We cooked for nearly 5 hours. When we finally sat down to eat Naz stood up, went to our outdoor bathroom and threw up. Bali belly, Smirnoff Ice, or the combination – you be the judge?
We took an absolutely bizarre taxi ride to Yeh Gangga, located on the southwest coast of Bali. I couldn’t tell you what makes a better story: the fact our taxi driver was certifiably insane, plus, thought we wanted a ride to India, or; while Lonely Planet described Yeh Gangga as ‘a must see beach in Bali’, it more closely resembles what one might call, an absolute shithole.
We discovered the jaw-dropping beauty of Purah Tanah Lot, a Hindu temple overlooking the ocean.
We all got blessed with holy water by the temple monks. Naz refused.
By this point, we all had fairly extreme cases of Bali Belly. (Even if you’ve never heard of it, you know what it is!) Oh, except for Mike, who later learned that his antibiotic treatment provided a cloak of invisibility against most stomach issues and undesired bowel movements.
As we pulled into Ubud, cultural mecca of Bali, some tight-lipped, silver-haired woman with a Macy’s bag strapped to her shoulder bellowed into our cab, “You should really get out and walk!” I believe the common sentiment in the van was who the HELL are you! We all wanted to Eat her for breakfast, Prayed we would see her again, and would've Loved to inform her that reading a book does not mean you’re a character in one.
We stayed in Nirvana Pension & Gallery, a lovely guesthouse with even lovelier owners and we consequently loved our time spent in Ubud.
We all got the dead skin sucked off our feet by fish. And holy crap did it tickle for the first five minutes.
We adopted a kitten in Ubud and named him Young Jeezy.
Interesting Fact: many of the cats in Southeast Asia have nubby, Pug-like tails. In local culture it is believed that long straight tails are unlucky so cats are preferred when they have short curled tails. It’s also rumored that if they don’t possess this quality they are given it.
While at the Monkey Forest I made great friends with one of the locals. On the contrary, Yas found out that monkeys do not like when you step on their tails. And their mothers hate it even more. Yikes.
We learned that none of us could refuse a good, cheap massage. Mike learned what it was like to get his mammies rubbed by a local man with lady-boy tendancies.
We learned that just because a company calls their sea-barring vessel a fast boat and their advertising grossly over uses the word fast in any and all marketing materials, it still does NOT imply they are required to be prompt. Screw you Sea Marlin.
We discovered that Naz was secretly in love with Mike’s new straw hat and was trying to find a state that would legally let her wed the brimmed beauty.
We learned that Gili Trawangan should really be called Kitty Island and that there were no cars, motors, or dogs allowed on the premises.
Apparently, in the self-governed Gili Islands, the locals enjoy experimenting with not just your garden variety mushroom.
We were delighted to find out that Gili T had a delicious, authentic Italian and Japanese restaurant, wonderful jaffles and phenomenal pastries (most notably their donut balls).
We learned that the island had spectacular snorkeling (and diving) only 15 meters from shore and that if you cruise around at the right time you can swim with sea turtles.
We learned that if you want the best price for your rupiahs you let one Yasmine Molavi negotiate the deal. It must be that Persian blood because she is TOUGH.
We learned that at some point you just have to take the leap and drink the water (ice) or you’ll never have a local cold beverage again. It was well worth the risk.
We now understood that the Indonesians have basically adapted Caribbean culture; they’ve taken dreadlocks, reggae music, and icon Bob Marley as their own.
We know that we had a kick-ass time that first week and decided to extend our Gili Trawagan stay for another 5 days.
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